I dunno why you’re so cold towards me.. I’m not trying to be a wuss.. but right now, I’m really sad..
maybe something happened.. but I may be wrong.. the night I was heading towards my formal, I was in the taxi and talking with my 2 good friends.. we were talking about how that night was to celebrate us for graduating from high school, and, as all guys would, about girls.. at that moment I could only think of you, I really wanted to talk to you, we haven’t seen each other in a while and I really missed you.. and therefore I messaged you..
you seemed somewhat happy that I wanted to talk to you, and for the whole night, I could only think of you… how much I’d wished you were there celebrating with me.. because you were the highlight of my year 12..
too bad I got home quite late, and I was also pretty tired.. so I told you wait for tomorrow to talk.. at first I thought you were asleep, maybe you were, but somehow I reckon you got my message and deactivated your Facebook as well.. everything after that just got worse.. your attitude somewhat didn’t sound too happy, and also asked me why I wanted to talk to you.. well.. should I really have a reason I wanted to talk to you? honestly, that night, I was planning to tell you how much I loved you..
day after day, I seem to miss you more and more, it really made me upset.. I kept trying to start a convo with you, but you shut it down quite quickly..
Tuesday was the day I couldn’t stand it anymore, I missed you so much the only thing on my mind while I tried to study was you, I couldn’t concentrate and was dying to talk with you.. but.. you gave me the most horrible replies I could have gotten.. i got really angry and at the same sad..
I don’t think anything has ever forced me this much, I deactivated my Facebook and threw away my computer, turned off my phone and went a bit rampage..
honestly, I never deactivate my Facebook unless I’m somewhat disappointed in you.. I can’t tell you this because I just sound like an ass.. but sometimes what angers me most is that cold attitude of yours.. I understand how important studying is to you.. but.. but.. I guess it’s different for me then.. nothing’s more important than the person you’re in love with.. you’re most important to me, and at times like this, when my exams are just around the corner, don’t leave me there lonely.. talk to me, encourage me.. I think that’s what I want from you, not those two word replies..

right now it’s so cold I can cry..

was it called the green tea mango mantra?
soo yummy.. :3

last day of good old high school :’(

约定

“说好的三年不见面用我们的爱把时间留住

你笑着说这是我们的考验我们的约定

就这样三年又过了我还是回到这个地方

闭上眼 等你的出现 空气中吻你的脸

我还记得我们的约定一辈子幸福的约定

为你写的那首歌 它也偷偷的掉泪了

我还记得我们的约定我比以前还更爱你了

连那风都笑我了我想它会告诉你的我更爱你了

就这样三年又过了我还是回到这个地方

闭上眼 等你的出现 空气中吻你的脸

我还记得我们的约定一辈子幸福的约定

为你写的那首歌 它也偷偷的掉泪了

我还记得我们的约定我比以前还更爱你了

连那风都笑我了 我想它会告诉你的

你会记得我们的约定一辈子幸福的约定

为你写的那首歌 它也偷偷的掉泪了

你会记得我们的约定我比以前还更爱你了

迎着风我也笑了它一定会告诉你的我更爱你了”

我不知道你还记不记得我们的约定，但是我每天都想着那天的来临，等着演我们的童话故事。虽然我们不像这首歌，没有三年的约定，但是我们短短三个月后的约定应经足够令我一世难忘。在这三个月里，我得到了很多跟你聊天美好的回忆，同时也多了给你忽视的时间。但是我想告诉你，我还记得我们的约定，一辈子幸福的约定，为你选的这首歌，我也偷偷的掉泪了，我还记得我们的约定，我真的比以前还跟爱你了！我真的越来越爱你了。

我终于想通了，我们现在的关系就好像 “那些年，我们一起追的女孩” 里的男女主角一样。虽然你喜欢我，你也知道我很喜欢你，但是我们还没在一起的。所以我现在想告诉你，我很喜欢你，非常喜欢你，总有一天我一定要追到你，百分之一千万一定要追到你。

我不敢想象我们那天的约定会变成怎么样，我也不知道那天我能拿出多少勇气跟你说我很喜欢你。事实上，我很喜欢你，我想变成童话里你爱的那个天使，张开双手变成翅膀守护你。

S2mic

how does your mind work? yesterday i gave you gold, id tried my best to make you smile, happy, and sent you a drawing… leaving you with a question that you might have wanted to be answered today… NO

NO is what i get… a big fat no… am i that much of a waste of time to talk to? does talking to me bore you that much? do you not care about what im doing? do you not want to know what i wrote? well the answer im getting is NO… im a big waste of your time… im super boring to talk to… you dont care what im doing… and you certain wouldnt waste a second wanting to how what i wrote…

do i really need to tell you this, or do you know and just dont care? i want to talk to you…. seriously… i really do… do you? im sick and tired of waiting for your message every night which never comes… unless you say something like “ohh i cant sleep so i might waste some time messaging you”… because everyday im happy, waiting for your message… but when it gets to a certain stage at night and you have yet messaged me.. i know i have to call it a day… and breathe my last few hours of the day miserable… cold. everyday, whenever the message doesnt come, my whole day would be ruined… in fact, today was actually a good day, i was actually smiling, something i havent been doing in the last 2-3 weeks… and you should know exactly why… i dont know why i was happy today… maybe i was waiting for your message that id thought would come.. but it never did…. and thats probably why im double depressed… 

have you ever tried lying on your bedroom floor, staring at your ceiling and thinking about that one person whos somehow this important… even if you did im sure i wouldnt be in that picture… and to be thinking i was there for 10minutes… it sickens me…

why am i even unhappy when you dont care? its just like punishing myself while you have the time of your life… 

yesterday was a good day.. i saw you… although there was no eye-contact, but a simple boy like me was content… then at night… i forced myself to message you, knowing that if i didnt take my chances i would be once again, ignored… it was actually our first decent conversation in a while…

but tonight, you took this happy feeling away.. erased it like it was nothing important.. didnt even bother asking me what i wrote..

well knowing that you wont be reading this blog… i said I LIKE YOU!! I REALLY REALLY DO!! which sorta makes me sad… cause its making me sad liking you.. normally if these anything that can make me this out of shape i would simply ignore it… but for you… my heart, my feelings cant run away… I LIKE YOU…. and each and every time you act as though im invisible makes me feel unwanted… 

sorry for all this negativity, but im just not feeling 100% right now… not even 50%… maybe even a bit lower than 10…

S2mic

agreed.. no wonder I miss you SOOO much… I’m missing you everyday, every hour, every minute, every second, every heartbeat… every instant!! ;)
S2mic

soooo.. as you can tell, you haven’t been messaging me much at night anymore…
well… last night I was really tired at 8… I dunno why but I was just really tired… :S so I managed to fit in another hour and a half of studying and jumped into bed at 9:30…
I slept all the way through to 11:24.. when my mum decided to walk into my room… I looked to my phone to find that there were people messaging me on fb, and on the top of the stack of notifications, was your message :).. which only came 4minutes ago… it was like you knew I was gonna wake up to reply your message!! ;)
you’re full of magic girl!!
S2mic

it makes me smile when I remember those times when I would be half sleeping, half awake, waiting for your reply!! :))
I really miss those times!! :)
S2mic

woops, a few hours late this week :P well anyway, song of the week, wish you were here… its sort of weird, i havent heard of this song lately, on the radio or anywhere else, but when i was missing you a lot… i randomly started singing it!! maybe thats how badly i wish you were here!! :P

I can be tough, i can be strong

but with you, its not like that at all

theres a girl (boy) that gives a shit

behind this wall, you just walk through it

and i remember all those crazy things you said

you left them running through my head

youre always there, youre everywhere

but right now i wish you were here

all those crazy things we did

didnt think about it, just went with it

youres always there, youre everywhere

but right now i wish you were here

damn, damn, damn

what id do to have you here, here, here

i wish you were here 

damn, damn, damn

what id do to have you near, near, near 

i wish you were here

i love the way you are

its who i am, dont have to try hard

we always say, say it like it is

and the truth is that i really miss

all those crazy things you said

you left them running through my head 

youre always there, youre everywhere

but right now i wish you were here

all those crazy things we did 

didnt think about it, just went with it

youre always there, youre everywhere

but right now i wish you were here

damn, damn, damn

what id do to have you here, here, here

I WISH YOU WERE HERE

DAMN, DAMN, DAMN

WHAT ID DO TO HAVE YOU NEAR, NEAR, NEAR 

I WISH YOU WERE HERE…

i really did miss you a lot these few weeks!! 

S2mic

S2mic